"There are limits to my comedy. There are things I'll never laugh at. The handicapped. Because there's nothing funny about them. Or any deformity. It's like when you see someone look at a little handicapped fella and go, 'Ooh, look at him, he's not able-bodied. I am, I'm prejudiced.' Yeah well, at least the little handicapped fella is able-minded. Unless he's not, it's difficult to tell with the wheelchair ones." --David Brent
I get nervous. I get clingy. I get whiny. I get jealous. I over-analyze things. I don't trust easily. I won't like your ex-girlfriends no matter who they are. I'll always wish I could take your breath away. Making love is so important to me, it's to be cherished. I want to be The One. I get terrified. I want someone who's been looking for me forever. I love the Beatles, if you don't, don't talk to me. Same goes for British Comedy. I love animals, you have to as well. I'm tired of waiting. I hate drugs and alcohol. I'll heal the wound even if it's not mine. Sometimes I like to misbehave. I despise liars and cheaters. I have ADD. I am clinically depressed. I am the Prozac Queen. I love New York City. I love London. I love my parents. I have an over-50 british actor fetish, as well as one with purses. I don't eat right, but I try to exercise. I have to have constant reassurance about love. I'm insecure. I dislike it when people don't vote. I love Elizabeth Wurtzel and Louise Rennison. I get crushes on women. I like Lionel Ritchie and the Bee Gees and I have a lot of ABBA mp3's. I love BMW's and want to have two or three kids one day. I want to be a musician, a songwriter, an actress, a writer, a wife, a mother, an activist, an artist, and a role model....maybe even a cop. I have a belly button ring, I weigh 136 pounds and have a big butt. My eyes are green , my hair is brown, and I love my best friend with all I've got. I'd die for my family and sometimes I miss the old times, with old friends. Sometimes I miss my ex-boyfriend, but then oxygen returns to my brain. My father owns his own business in computers and my mother used to be a teacher. My sister works in insurance and I am currently unemployed because I'm fundementally lazy and would rather sleep than leave my house. I snore. I have dry skin. I've been listening to Sting, Tracy Chapman, Bruce Springsteen, Peter Gabriel, Alanis Morissette, Madonna and Dido a lot lately. I want to be Madonna. I'm an anglophile. I have the tendency to be racist. I'm more republican than democrat. I love to clean and rearrange furniture. I've slept with my professor. I love computers. I love putting them together and taking them apart. I like repairing them. I hate my university. I want to have a film degree. I want to move to Florida, or Manhattan. I never mean to hurt people. I can ride a bike, but fall on rollerblades. I have my father's eyes, chin and complexion, and my mother's sense of humor, personality, and fear of mathematics. I have her smile. The worst crime to me is animal and child cruelty. I don't like Good Charlotte, Dashboard Confessional, and I think Aerosmith, although good, have been making the same album for 15 years. I believe revenge really is a dish best served cold. I wish I didn't believe in revenge. I wish I were prettier. I wish I were smarter, but I'd never admit this. I get PMS. I fancy myself mature, but it's arrogant to say. I've worked in radio and TV and have grown bored with both. I want Angelina Jolie to fall in love with me. I wish I didn't wear my heart on my sleeve. I think constantly about something I should have said as opposed to what I've said. I'd really love to meet your mom. I had braces for 2 years. I wear contacts and glasses. I've stolen from an employer before. I get lonely. I love to sing. I'm on Strattera and I never take my Prozac when I should. I love Uma Thurman. I hate Gwenyth Paltrow. I want to make a man forget his past. I want my own place. I've never been arrested. I don't drink. I'm redundant. I'm redundant. Sometimes I'm in the mood for cartoons. I don't know how to swim.I want to look like Lisa Marie Presley. I've been in love with John Lennon since I was 11, and Rowan Atkinson since I was 18. My family is a lot like a mixture of "Rosanne", "Home Improvement", with a touch of "Everybody Loves Raymond". My friends are nothing like "Friends". And deep deep down, I'm scared to fall in love. I have the tendency to sabotage my happiness. I'm a new girl. If you survive this....you can survive anything.